Another Fertilization Report!

Received a call from the clinic this morning! We still have 10 "babies in a dish" growing, however only 3 are doing great. It makes me sad to hear how the others are falling behind in development. We are still thankful for the 3 that are doing great! We are scheduled for transfer at 09:30 in the morning! They will be transferring two embryos! The other one will be frozen for a transfer later on! We call it our Frosty baby! We cannot express how excited we are for this to happen!!!

Another Fertilization Report!!!

So today is an exciting day!! I am feeling much better from the retrieval and I returned to work yesterday! Still moving a little slow and sore, but much better! Today I will receive our second fertilization report, but first I will celebrate the graduation of my nursing students! They have worked very hard to achieve their goal and I enjoy celebrating their special day.

I received our second fertilization report and everything is going well. We still have 22 "babies in a dish" growing, however 10 are doing better than the others. It is heartbreaking to hear that over half of our babies are not doing good, but we are very thankful for the 10 doing well! This process is definitely an emotional roller coaster with lots of "ups" and "downs". I'll be quite honest, there are more "downs" than "ups", but the process will be all worth it when we conceive our little miracle! As of now it looks like we will possibly tranfer one or more embryos on Monday the 17th... Please keep the prayers coming if you are following along with us on this journey!

Fertilization Report!!!!

Today we received our first fertilization report!! They retrieved 32 eggs and 28 are "mature" eggs!!! Of the 28 mature eggs, 22 fertilized and are where they should be for Day 1!!! We are excited to have 22 little ones growing in a dish... Grow babies, grow!!! We will receive another report in two days! Please send up some prayers for our little ones!

As for me, today I am very sore from the egg retrieval, but doing good! I took today off from work and will relax on the couch all day to allow my body to heal!

12/12/12--Egg Retrieval!

So 12/12/12 was the BIG day for us!!!!! We drove to the clinic the night before and spent the night so we could be good and rested! We arrived at the clinic at 08:00 and they started an IV with fluids and began getting me ready. I was really nervous since I had never had any procedures done and had never been under anesthesia. The nurse came in and gave me a "cocktail" through my IV and the only thing I remembered after that was beginning to feel dizzy! LOL!
Then the nurses and my husband finally got me to wake up in recovery and let me know that they had retrieved 32 EGGS!!!!!!!! We were so excited with this number!!! I recovered for about an hour, then I was sent home to rest. On the way home, the anesthesia got the better of me and we had to make a pit stop. Now how many husbands would come into a female public restroom because they heard their wife getting sick??? MINE DID!!! We laugh about it now, but it wasn't a pretty site then! :)
As soon as we were home I took a nap and rested the rest of the day on the couch. I was very sore.. They had to apply lots of pressure on my belly to get access to my left ovary. My left ovary was very large and became lodged behine my uterus. (That's why I had so much pressure before the procedure). I felt like I had done over 1 million crunches!! But with each day I got better and better! I went back to work two days later. Now the wait on the fertilization report!! Getting anxious!!!

12/3/12... RIP my precious Skippy...

I would like to take a moment and remember my precious "doxie" Skippy. During this process I suffered a great loss. My "doxie" who was 14 years old, went to heaven on 12/3/12. This was a very sad day for me. I have had Skippy, aka my "Skipper Doo Dandy" for 10 years. Here's the story of how she came into my life and became my furbaby!

In July of 2001, I found a Dachshund breeder in Southeast Kentucky and bought a 7 week old precious little doxie and named her Abbie. Abbie was a joy to have and still is to this day. About a year later, I received a call from the breeder telling me how Abbie's mom, Skippy, had been attacked by two other dachshunds and was hurt badly. She had to have several reconstructive surgeries to repair her injuries. The breeder asked me If I would take Skippy once she recovered. I didn't hesitate once! As soon as Skippy recovered, we made the trip to pick her up. Skippy was a very scared puppy and very timid. As soon as I started speaking to her, she perked her little ears up and came right to me. I knew then, she was meant to be my furbaby. We brought her home and over the years made some wonderful memories! She was no longer an outside dog used for breeding. She was the baby she needed to be and I was blessed to be her mommy.

In March of 2010, we received some devastating news that the mass we found on her belly, was breast cancer. I was heartbroken. My choices were to put her through a very extensive two part surgery or let her live her life out. She was 12 years old and I was honestly afraid she would not recover from her surgery, so we made the decision to let her enjoy the rest of her life, however long that may be. She lived two years and nine months from her diagnosis and you would have never known she was ever sick. She was bouncing around and rolling in the grass the last day of her life. We had no clue that would be our last day with her. That evening she began breathing a little heavier than normal. I called the vet and he said just to keep her calm and bring her in the next morning. She slept with her daddy that night and I slept on the couch right beside them. The next morning I began getting ready for work and my husband was planning to have her at the vet right when they opened. About 20 minutes before I was to leave, I heard my husband say "Where ya going Skip?" I was so excited because I knew she was moving. I walked into the living room and saw her perky little ears looking at me! Within 10 minutes, she laid down on the couch in my arms and quit breathing. It was like she came looking for me so I could be there with her. As heartbroken as we were, we were thankful she passed with her mommy and daddy by her side. We spent the next hour just peacefully remembering all the good memories and of course shedding several tears.

I knew this day was coming, but you can never be prepared. She passed away on 12-3-12 and would have turned 15 years old on 12-5-12. We were planning to make that day special for her birthday. We had a Twinkie saved for her, because she LOVED human food! Sunday night when she wasn't feeling well, we gave her the Twinkie early and she enjoyed every bite. I was so thankful that she was able to enjoy her "birthday cake" before she passed. I miss her every single second of every day. She was a very special doxie and I am so thankful that I was able to give her the best 10 years of her life! RIP Skippy!

12/1-12/9

I know I'm behind, but I'm gonna catch everyone up!!! Our IVF journey went very well!! 12/1-12/9 were the days I took my stimulation meds. It was a combination of Follistim and Menopur. The injections were not too bad, but sometimes they did burn a little. They were just a small injection each evening into my belly! You could connect the dots by the time it was finished!!! :) My sister-in-law gave most of my injections and my husband gave a few. He did a fantastic job!! I had four ultrasounds during this time and my ovaries kicked it in gear and grew 30+ follicles! The doctors were concerned because I had so many and was afraid I would get very sick. I proved them wrong! :) I triggered with Lupron on 12/10 and my egg retrieval was scheduled for 12/12!!

And our Journey begins!!!

For the last almost three weeks I have been on birth control pills to prepare my ovaries for IVF. My last pill was this past Tuesday. Tuesday was a big day for us! We signed all of our consents for the procedures and had our blood work completed! Everything came back normal!

Today I visited the clinic and had an ultrasound and blood work! My ovaries are clear of cysts and ready to be stimulated! My blood work came back great so I will begin my injections this evening! I have 20+ follicles on EACH ovary! This can be good but can also be bad. They are concerned I may overstimulate with my high number of follicles. They will monitor me very close and hopefully everything will go as planned! I will be updating more often as these next couple of weeks are going to be very busy with appointments, work, injections and blood work! As of now my egg retrieval is scheduled for December 11th!!! Please send up some prayers if you are reading this blog! We want this so very bad!!!

And the countdown begins to IVF!!

We have started the beginning preparations for our IVF! If things go as planned, everything should take place in the middle of December...What a wonderful Christmas present this could be!! We are very excited, nervous, anxious, scared and any other adjectives you could add....but this is the step that we have to take if we wish to have a chance for a miracle, so we are going to take it! I will update as things get a little closer to happening! In the mean time, please if you are following my blog, send up some prayers that this will work for us. There is nothing we want more than to have a child. I am giving it to GOD because I know he is the only one in charge!!

Memories!

I know I have been missing for a few days, actually a couple of weeks. I have been busy with friends and work trying to keep my mind off the two week wait. Well my two week wait came to an end tonight when my cycle started. So needless to say, our last IUI was unsuccessful. I will be calling the clinic in the morning to see what's next with starting IVF. I am so nervous for this process but hopeful it will bring us our miracle.

This week also brings back a sweet memory that changed my life forever! On November 8, 2011, I had my first every positive pregnancy test. The happiness only lasted a couple of weeks and then it was all over when it was found to be a chemical pregnancy. Even though I have nothing more than a "pee" stick to prove they existed, they DID exist!! I think about it every single day of my life. I always try to imagine how my life would be today holding my precious miracle. They would've been 4 months this month and celebrating all the "first" holidays. I have a special setting in our home with an Angel tealight candle holder. The warm glow of the flame warms my heart and reminds me that one day I will hold you! Here is the only evidence I have of the moment that changed my life forever!

What a smile on my husbands face!! He WILL be a wonderful daddy someday! RIP Angel baby! You are loved beyond measure and always in our hearts.....

Crazy Weekend!

Well, this has been a crazy weekend for sure.. As I said in my earlier blog, we camped with family and friends this weekend. The weather temperature went from 70-80's to 40-50's. Needless to say, I am not pleased with the temperature change. I love warm weather and wish we could have it year round! But I live in Kentucky, so that is not happening!! Today it's a rainy mess and rain/wind is in the forecast for the next few days, and also a chance for snow  :(

As for the IUI, we went to our clinic yesterday with much excitement! My hubs "boys" were awesome and the count/motility was perfect! However, my usual RE was off this weekend and I received treatment from his partner. Let's just say, I AM NOT A FAN! I made it clear that I wanted it documented in my chart that I would never see him again. If this cannot be arranged, I will switch to a different clinic. My usual RE is suppose to contact me tomorrow and discuss this situation. I am praying he can grant my request to only see him or the other physician in the clinic, other than his partner. If he can't, and if this cycle does not result in a pregnancy, then I will look for a different clinic for my IVF. This makes me so angry and sad, because switching clinics will delay our IVF process and we have been prepared to begin in two weeks, if this cycle didn't work. Plus, I really like my usual RE. He is so kind and supportive! All the nurses are excellent! But I will be paying way too much  money to be treated the way I was on Saturday. He took all our excitement away and it made us angry. This is such a stressful, emotional process as it is. But on a brighter note, I have started the two week wait. November 10th is test day!!! I am praying my kneecaps off that this worked and we will get a BFP in two weeks!!!

I am going to spend the rest of this rainy, dreary day chillin with my hubs and getting ready for work tomorrow!! Everyone have a blessed Sunday and please send up some prayers for us!! :)

Camping, friends and IUI...OH MY!!

Well this is definitely gonna be a busy weekend, but I am ready to face it!!! We are camping with family and friends....We have to get up super early in the morning and head to the clinic for our intrauterine insemination! I am so excited!! I keep looking at the pic of my follicle and just pray that this could be my little one in the making! After tomorrow I will officially be in the dreaded two week wait!! LOL!! I will have to wait 14 days until I test!! UGH!! I'll warn ya ahead of time, I may be blogging alot!!! :)

Have a blessed weekend everyone and please send up some prayers for our IUI!!!

YAY!!! Today was a great day!!!

I had my ultrasound this morning and I was shocked when I heard the words, "mature" and "19mm"!!!! That means I responded to the Letrozole AND I have a 19mm MATURE follicle!! I am very excited! I will take a shot this evening the will prepare the follicle to release the egg on Saturday. I will return to my doctor Saturday morning for my Intrauterine Insemination! I am praying hard that this is what God has planned for me and that this procedure produces the child I have wanted for many years!!!

Here is a pic of my follicle and hopefully after Saturday, it will form my future little one!! These are the little things that a lot of women take for granted because they produce them every month and have no problems. To me, this is a great day to know that finally I have produced a MATURE follicle! This gives me hope that even if this IUI doesn't work, I should respond well to injectables!!

And just to give you a chuckle for the day, here is another pic...Now this is when you know you are in a fertility clinic!! Have a great day!!!

Busy week!!!

So I haven't posted in a few days, but this week is a busy one! Tuesday my husband and I attended our IVF class. It was interesting to see how the process works and how advanced technology is today. Also, it gives us hope that we have a chance of conceiving our miracle. During the class, my hubs was taught how to give intramuscular injections. Uhm..needless to say, he will NOT be giving me my shots...LOL! But I do have alot of nursing friends and a sister-in-law who is also a nurse who will gladly stick me!! :)
As I sit here tonight, I keep thinking how this week could turn out. I have an ultrasound in the morning to determine if the Letrozole was effective. If it was and I have follicle(s) on the ultrasound, I will trigger to ovulate and have an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) on Saturday. I'm so praying this happens and that it will be successful. I know we have to just wait and see, but I am very impatient. It's all a waiting game most of the time and that can be very stressing and depressing too. If I didn't respond, we will begin to prepare for IVF. I'm kinda nervous. It is a very detailed procedure, but one I am most willing to go through for a chance to have a baby. This has been my dream for years and I fully believe that I will be a mommy soon!
I have so many things going on. My work is busy on top of completing all my appointments and meds. Also, the anniversary of my first ever positive pregnancy test is very soon. November 8th, 2011 was the absolute happiest day of my life. However, it was over in just a few weeks. I'm hoping that around that time, we will be getting good news if we are able to have the IUI.
Well that's about it for tonight!! I've gotta long drive in the morning!! Send up some prayers if you read this and keep your fingers crossed for follicles!! :)

Mixed Emotions!

So this is going to be a big week for us! I finished my round of Femara (Letrozole) yesterday... We will be attending a class regarding IVF on Tuesday to learn about the process, risks and cost! I'm excited to see what our next step will be if this round doesn't work! Then we go Thursday to see if my ovaries responded to the Femara. If they did, I will take a shot Thursday evening to make me ovulate and then have my second IUI on Saturday! I'm so praying that this new drug works and we can avoid the more invasive procedure and the increaed cost. But we will do what we can to try to have a baby.

Some days are very hard knowing that many couples out there never have to and/or don't even begin to know the hardships of not being able to conceive naturally. I feel so alone sometimes among my friends, who all have children of their own. I know they support me and are there for me every day, but they truly cannot relate to my situation. And then there's the peole who honestly don't deserve to have children. Children are in homes where they are abused and not loved. No child should ever experience fear or pain at the hand of a parent, or anyone for that matter. I saw a facebook post once that ready, "Why is it that the worst mothers are also the ones who are the most fertile?" Oh my, some days that is my exact thought. Especially when I would, and will,  give everything I have to just have a chance for a baby. As I've said before, it's a road I never imagined being on in my life. By now, at the ripe ole age of 36, I should have the three children I've always wished for. But life threw me a curve ball... Each trip to the clinic is two and a half hours one way. I know it will be all worth it in the end, IF it works...That's another issue, it's not guaranteed.

I know I'm a downer today, but this is the life of infertility. You have good days and bad days.... You never know from day to day how you are going to feel. Everything that surrounds me reminds me I don't have children. Television shows, commercials, movies, friends, family and I could list many more. I love sitting down to watch TV and the commercial of a positive pregnancy test come up on the screen with a woman so excited about it turning positive. Which by the way, the commercial just played 5 minutes a go as I sit her on the couch watching TV and typing my blog. I can't escape it! And this totally consumes my life!

So this is my blog for today. I am going to go enjoy the day with my dear sweet husband. If you read my blogs, please send up some prayers that we get good news on Thursday! If you have children, hug them and appreciate the gift you have been given. Everyone have a happy Sunday!

Just Another Day!

Tomorrow I begin my last round of oral medications to try and conceive our miracle baby! I am excited, but also very nervous. I'm really praying that this medication works and will end up saving us thousands of dollars. As optimistic as we are trying to be, we have already came to the conclusion that we will need IVF, but we will see how this round goes. It's a daily struggle for me to watch TV, go shoppping and sometimes even talk to my friends who have children. This is something that I truly face every day of my life. I see beautiful children, infant clothing, pregnancy test commercials and the list could go on and on! This is the life of infertility. Some days are easier than others, but most days are full of wonder and hope for our future family. I am truly blessed with everything I have been given and I'm very thankful for what I have. However, I just feel like something is missing, a part of me is missing... I'm not complete yet....I haven't fulfilled my role as a woman....Why did this happen to me, when so many children are aborted or born into bad environments everyday? Life seems very unfair sometimes....But I'm still not giving up hope! Gotta keep positive and keep my head up! This is the one thing I have always wanted and knew I was meant to be...A Mommy!!! Keeping my fingers crossed it happens soon!!! :)

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog page about our journey with infertility! This is my first time at blogging, so please be patient with me! This is something I have wanted to do for a while to share a journey that most people don't think much about. There is a "silent" group of women who suffer from infertility and issues trying to conceive a child. I never imagined my life would lead me down this emotional, rollercoaster road. I have tried to conceive a child for 14 years. I have tried multiple rounds of Clomid in hopes of conceiving my gift! After many painful emotional and depressing cycles, we finally decided to visit a clinic. We started visiting a clinic in August and things started happening rather quickly. Our first round with Clomid and IUI (intra-uterine insemination) was unsuccessful. The second round of Clomid received no response from my ovaries, therefor our IUI was cancelled for that cycle. We are currently getting ready to begin a cycle with a new medicine Femara (Letrozole) with IUI. If this cycle is unsuccessful, we will begin more aggressive treatment with IVF (in-vitro-fertilization). This consumes my life! It's the one thing I think about throughout each day. I have joined this blogspot to share our story and journey through conceiving our miracle and also, it just helps to blog about it!! :)