Crazy Weekend!

Well, this has been a crazy weekend for sure.. As I said in my earlier blog, we camped with family and friends this weekend. The weather temperature went from 70-80's to 40-50's. Needless to say, I am not pleased with the temperature change. I love warm weather and wish we could have it year round! But I live in Kentucky, so that is not happening!! Today it's a rainy mess and rain/wind is in the forecast for the next few days, and also a chance for snow  :(

As for the IUI, we went to our clinic yesterday with much excitement! My hubs "boys" were awesome and the count/motility was perfect! However, my usual RE was off this weekend and I received treatment from his partner. Let's just say, I AM NOT A FAN! I made it clear that I wanted it documented in my chart that I would never see him again. If this cannot be arranged, I will switch to a different clinic. My usual RE is suppose to contact me tomorrow and discuss this situation. I am praying he can grant my request to only see him or the other physician in the clinic, other than his partner. If he can't, and if this cycle does not result in a pregnancy, then I will look for a different clinic for my IVF. This makes me so angry and sad, because switching clinics will delay our IVF process and we have been prepared to begin in two weeks, if this cycle didn't work. Plus, I really like my usual RE. He is so kind and supportive! All the nurses are excellent! But I will be paying way too much  money to be treated the way I was on Saturday. He took all our excitement away and it made us angry. This is such a stressful, emotional process as it is. But on a brighter note, I have started the two week wait. November 10th is test day!!! I am praying my kneecaps off that this worked and we will get a BFP in two weeks!!!

I am going to spend the rest of this rainy, dreary day chillin with my hubs and getting ready for work tomorrow!! Everyone have a blessed Sunday and please send up some prayers for us!! :)

Camping, friends and IUI...OH MY!!

Well this is definitely gonna be a busy weekend, but I am ready to face it!!! We are camping with family and friends....We have to get up super early in the morning and head to the clinic for our intrauterine insemination! I am so excited!! I keep looking at the pic of my follicle and just pray that this could be my little one in the making! After tomorrow I will officially be in the dreaded two week wait!! LOL!! I will have to wait 14 days until I test!! UGH!! I'll warn ya ahead of time, I may be blogging alot!!! :)

Have a blessed weekend everyone and please send up some prayers for our IUI!!!

YAY!!! Today was a great day!!!

I had my ultrasound this morning and I was shocked when I heard the words, "mature" and "19mm"!!!! That means I responded to the Letrozole AND I have a 19mm MATURE follicle!! I am very excited! I will take a shot this evening the will prepare the follicle to release the egg on Saturday. I will return to my doctor Saturday morning for my Intrauterine Insemination! I am praying hard that this is what God has planned for me and that this procedure produces the child I have wanted for many years!!!

Here is a pic of my follicle and hopefully after Saturday, it will form my future little one!! These are the little things that a lot of women take for granted because they produce them every month and have no problems. To me, this is a great day to know that finally I have produced a MATURE follicle! This gives me hope that even if this IUI doesn't work, I should respond well to injectables!!

And just to give you a chuckle for the day, here is another pic...Now this is when you know you are in a fertility clinic!! Have a great day!!!

Busy week!!!

So I haven't posted in a few days, but this week is a busy one! Tuesday my husband and I attended our IVF class. It was interesting to see how the process works and how advanced technology is today. Also, it gives us hope that we have a chance of conceiving our miracle. During the class, my hubs was taught how to give intramuscular injections. Uhm..needless to say, he will NOT be giving me my shots...LOL! But I do have alot of nursing friends and a sister-in-law who is also a nurse who will gladly stick me!! :)
As I sit here tonight, I keep thinking how this week could turn out. I have an ultrasound in the morning to determine if the Letrozole was effective. If it was and I have follicle(s) on the ultrasound, I will trigger to ovulate and have an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) on Saturday. I'm so praying this happens and that it will be successful. I know we have to just wait and see, but I am very impatient. It's all a waiting game most of the time and that can be very stressing and depressing too. If I didn't respond, we will begin to prepare for IVF. I'm kinda nervous. It is a very detailed procedure, but one I am most willing to go through for a chance to have a baby. This has been my dream for years and I fully believe that I will be a mommy soon!
I have so many things going on. My work is busy on top of completing all my appointments and meds. Also, the anniversary of my first ever positive pregnancy test is very soon. November 8th, 2011 was the absolute happiest day of my life. However, it was over in just a few weeks. I'm hoping that around that time, we will be getting good news if we are able to have the IUI.
Well that's about it for tonight!! I've gotta long drive in the morning!! Send up some prayers if you read this and keep your fingers crossed for follicles!! :)

Mixed Emotions!

So this is going to be a big week for us! I finished my round of Femara (Letrozole) yesterday... We will be attending a class regarding IVF on Tuesday to learn about the process, risks and cost! I'm excited to see what our next step will be if this round doesn't work! Then we go Thursday to see if my ovaries responded to the Femara. If they did, I will take a shot Thursday evening to make me ovulate and then have my second IUI on Saturday! I'm so praying that this new drug works and we can avoid the more invasive procedure and the increaed cost. But we will do what we can to try to have a baby.

Some days are very hard knowing that many couples out there never have to and/or don't even begin to know the hardships of not being able to conceive naturally. I feel so alone sometimes among my friends, who all have children of their own. I know they support me and are there for me every day, but they truly cannot relate to my situation. And then there's the peole who honestly don't deserve to have children. Children are in homes where they are abused and not loved. No child should ever experience fear or pain at the hand of a parent, or anyone for that matter. I saw a facebook post once that ready, "Why is it that the worst mothers are also the ones who are the most fertile?" Oh my, some days that is my exact thought. Especially when I would, and will,  give everything I have to just have a chance for a baby. As I've said before, it's a road I never imagined being on in my life. By now, at the ripe ole age of 36, I should have the three children I've always wished for. But life threw me a curve ball... Each trip to the clinic is two and a half hours one way. I know it will be all worth it in the end, IF it works...That's another issue, it's not guaranteed.

I know I'm a downer today, but this is the life of infertility. You have good days and bad days.... You never know from day to day how you are going to feel. Everything that surrounds me reminds me I don't have children. Television shows, commercials, movies, friends, family and I could list many more. I love sitting down to watch TV and the commercial of a positive pregnancy test come up on the screen with a woman so excited about it turning positive. Which by the way, the commercial just played 5 minutes a go as I sit her on the couch watching TV and typing my blog. I can't escape it! And this totally consumes my life!

So this is my blog for today. I am going to go enjoy the day with my dear sweet husband. If you read my blogs, please send up some prayers that we get good news on Thursday! If you have children, hug them and appreciate the gift you have been given. Everyone have a happy Sunday!

Just Another Day!

Tomorrow I begin my last round of oral medications to try and conceive our miracle baby! I am excited, but also very nervous. I'm really praying that this medication works and will end up saving us thousands of dollars. As optimistic as we are trying to be, we have already came to the conclusion that we will need IVF, but we will see how this round goes. It's a daily struggle for me to watch TV, go shoppping and sometimes even talk to my friends who have children. This is something that I truly face every day of my life. I see beautiful children, infant clothing, pregnancy test commercials and the list could go on and on! This is the life of infertility. Some days are easier than others, but most days are full of wonder and hope for our future family. I am truly blessed with everything I have been given and I'm very thankful for what I have. However, I just feel like something is missing, a part of me is missing... I'm not complete yet....I haven't fulfilled my role as a woman....Why did this happen to me, when so many children are aborted or born into bad environments everyday? Life seems very unfair sometimes....But I'm still not giving up hope! Gotta keep positive and keep my head up! This is the one thing I have always wanted and knew I was meant to be...A Mommy!!! Keeping my fingers crossed it happens soon!!! :)

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog page about our journey with infertility! This is my first time at blogging, so please be patient with me! This is something I have wanted to do for a while to share a journey that most people don't think much about. There is a "silent" group of women who suffer from infertility and issues trying to conceive a child. I never imagined my life would lead me down this emotional, rollercoaster road. I have tried to conceive a child for 14 years. I have tried multiple rounds of Clomid in hopes of conceiving my gift! After many painful emotional and depressing cycles, we finally decided to visit a clinic. We started visiting a clinic in August and things started happening rather quickly. Our first round with Clomid and IUI (intra-uterine insemination) was unsuccessful. The second round of Clomid received no response from my ovaries, therefor our IUI was cancelled for that cycle. We are currently getting ready to begin a cycle with a new medicine Femara (Letrozole) with IUI. If this cycle is unsuccessful, we will begin more aggressive treatment with IVF (in-vitro-fertilization). This consumes my life! It's the one thing I think about throughout each day. I have joined this blogspot to share our story and journey through conceiving our miracle and also, it just helps to blog about it!! :)